Wit and Wisdom: A Hilariously Deep Dive into Life

 

1. "I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure."
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3. "Life is like a bicycle – to keep your balance, you must keep moving. And occasionally, dodge potholes."
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5. "I'm not lazy; I'm in energy-saving mode."
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7. "The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
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9. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
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11. "Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."
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13. "Behind every great man, there is a woman rolling her eyes."
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15. "I'm not clumsy. It's just that the floor hates me, the tables and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way."
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17. "Never trust stairs; they're always up to something."
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19. "I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised."
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21. "If at first, you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you."
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23. "I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done."
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25. "I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already."
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27. "The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
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29. "I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands."
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31. "I'm not lazy. I'm in energy-saving mode."
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33. "Why be moody when you can shake your booty?"
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35. "Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it."
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37. "Life is short – smile while you still have teeth."
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39. "I'm not aging; I'm just increasing in value."